Listen to the Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.
Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.

Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Quitting is for Losers...

Oiy. So frustrated. Haven't had as much as 2 solid hours to myself in months. I think a book was a bad, bad idea. WHAT was I thinking??

I want to quit.

I should quit.

Can't quit because I must save face...cannot be thrown into the throngs of thousands before me who have done the same. Surely I must be better than that?


Saturday, August 7, 2010


Just an update to let you know that the book is coming along...I haven't blogged because any spare moment I have lately I have been writing, writing, writing and I am getting very excited about it. I dare say it will be the BEST book I have EVER written...seeinz how it will be the ONLY book I have ever written :)

Happy writing and reading all!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Manic Monday

I had a power weekend.

Any idea what that is? Well, let me tell you. It is sort of like a power nap - you know, a quick 20 minutes to help you feel refreshed and ready to finish the day?

I worked Saturday from 7 AM to 9 PM and Sunday until 7 PM. At 7 PM, I poured myself an ice cold Diet Pepsi and planted myself in my lawn chair in the warm summer air, watched our ducks and worked on my book.

It was a fabulous 3 hours. That was my power weekend.

And now I am back at work...

Is it bad I had to duck tape the hem of my dress pants this morning??? Could this be systematic of a much larger problem?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Since WHEN is Edward a redhead??

I just finished The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. It was mind numbing. It was the first time I almost didn't finish a book. What I want to know is when slightly brownish, blondish, hints of red highlights on my Eddie became enough to call him a REDHEAD?!?!?! Has Stephanie been drinking? After that book I think I need to be drinking just to forget it!

Plus, I just walked past my trumpet playing neighbors house and heard him say to his friend, "Dude, I gotta take a dump." And then he turned around and saw me! HA! Serves you right for playing your trumpet at all hours, you little skin flute!

My day couldn't get any better. Bring on Ender's Game to round it all out!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Momma Said

My Momma never said, "Life is Like a Box of Chocolates." What she did say was this...

"You have to make good things happen for yourself! You make it happen."

That was the only bit of parenting advice I remember and it changed my life. I have lived that way for 12 years...until most recently.

Thank you to my husband for reminding me of that when I had started to forget!

Don't sit around wishing because at the end of the day all you will all end up with is what? A handful of poo. Because Grandpa John L. used to say, "You can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first!"

Today I make things happen.

I am tired of having handfuls of poo at the end of the day, especially since I am running out of places to shove it! It's really starting to smell and the neighbors are getting suspicious!

Love you all, Happy Monday!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Life is Funny...

Life is funny. It isn't as much "har, har" funny as it is "Hey, that wasn't in the brochure" kind of funny.

Marriage doesn't turn out to be a endless nights of passion and days filled with freedom away from your parents tyrannical rule.

An Apartment isn't like Ken and Barbie's dream house.

A Mortgage is just a prison disguised as legal sized papers in a pretty folder with gold embossed letters on the front.

Food doesn't make itself.

Nothing is self cleaning...including the oven, which is the biggest marketing scam since Dexatrim.

Children are not like real life Cabbage Patch Dolls that move and speak according to your will.

Parenting is not a throw down challenge to prove you can do it better than all the parents before you that you have criticized, including your own.

A real job is not something you jump gladly out of bed at 6 AM every day for...in fact the longer you do it, the better a McDonald's fry cook looks to you.

Lessons still suck to learn to matter how old you get. And tears still fall.

The bully's on the playground never go away, they just disguise themselves better.

You never discover what it is you want to be when you grow up...because one day you realize you grew up and never decided. Somehow your life just happened and you still feel like you are seventeen waiting for it to start.


I excitedly took a quiz I was emailed today on how to Maximize your Strengths: Personal Growth and Development.

Question #1: What do you like to talk about without stopping?

Me: Hmmm. I'm not sure. That is a tough one. Let's see what the explanation says:

Chances are, the things that interest you most get you talking on and on. If what you talk about without stopping are the complaints you have or the things about other people that bother you, then nothing here will help you. A negative attitude will sabotage any success you may seek, and the responsibility for that is yours.

And now I am going back to bed.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

And the Winner Is....

Melanie wins for Austin Fisher.

Teri wins for Kade Akers.

Email me your email address at camilleballou@comcast.net so I can email the gift cards to you.

Thanks everyone for helping out. Sorry it took me so long to decide...what can I say, I'm a woman and I am wishy-washy!

Hope everyone had a great 4th.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

Eclipse Run-Down

It has been 36 hours since the much anticipated Eclipse Premier. Before I start this post, please know I am a lover - not a hater. You all know that, I am a fan, a dedicated fan. I have suffered through uncomfortable monkey references, tacky glitter, laughable special effects and horribly coiffed hair. I have evolved to find Robert Pattinson hot, and not at all feminine with a face that is not at all flat like the bottom of my foot. I have crossed a moral boundary to lust after a child who was once the super-hero Shark Boy. I have looked past everything that is wrong with Kristen Stewart on every level. I have a 1,000 piece puzzle glued together under my bed, next to a poster that I have no use for but had to have. I named my car Eddie for hell's sakes. So...it is with the utmost love I give my opinion of Eclipse...

The title of the movie should be changed to "I HATE BELLA SWAN!!" I wanted her to die, die, die. I wanted to stand up and shout to the world, "You don't deserve either one of them you horrible, horrible, horrible little girl."

All of us that have read the books and fallen in love with either Edward or Jacob, or both. And I dare say there wasn't one of us who joined "Team Bella" and fell in love with her character. If they had consulted me on the screen play it would have gone something like this...

Bella is fickle and can't decide between two perfect and gorgeous men. The two men have a moment of clarity as they stare each other down, they sense a connection with each other and use their mind reading super powers to communicate. What are we doing, they ask? Are we really fighting over her? This is almost embarassing, we could do SO much better...I mean, look at us, right? So, they form a plan while Bella watches them cluelessly with a stupid expression on her face...

When Riley and Victoria come for Bella and Edward pretends to protect her, he secretly tells them that they can have her as long as they promise to make it look like he put up a good fight.
Riley and Victoria take Bella and suck the so-called life out of her and rip her to pieces. It's very sad. Poor Jasper is distraught and decides to finally come out of the closet...He proclaims to the world that we won't let Alice dress him anymore - not only is a Bob-Cut out of style, the cheap wavy perm is SO Kelly McGillis-1980-Top Gun that he is about to rip his own head off. A huge fight errupts among the Cullen'sCarlisle tells the other Cullens in his soft spoken tone to settle down and love all creatures, not matter what their sexual orientation may be - to remember who they are... Emmett says, "To hell with that, I am too much of a man for that. And, come to think of it, I'm with Edward and Jacob, I'm too much of a man to be with an ice cold beyotch like Rosalie, too! I'm outta here."(ohhhhhh yeahhhh...meet Macoy Parker from my book everyone!) Devastated, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme run to Alaska to be with the Denali clan. Edward, Jacob and Emmett stay behind in the Cullen mansion. The three of them dream of having a woman in their lives they can share - a middle-aged, chubby, wrinkly, homely, accountant that they can spoil, dote on, provide for and love passionately. She shows up and makes all their wildest dreams come true...Alice adopts Seth Clearwater and rescues him from the Quilleute tribe (because let's face it, he is the cutest little thing I've ever seen)
And they all lived happily ever after!

The End.

What do you think? It would have been much better than suffering through 2 hours of unemotional acting from Bella trying to have her beef-cake and eat it too. But, her passionate speech at the end made everything fall into place and made it all okay...or not! The speech made me even more angry with her - if that was even possible. "Edward...oh, Edward...I want to be a Vampire because I suck as a human being...I guess I sort of love you too...and I sort of love Jacob but all he can do is lick me like a dog - at least you are a means to an end!"

Was it just me? What did everyone else think? I think the general status is that if you loved the 1st one - you will like this one. But if New Moon blew you away...you might be disappointed with this one. However, Edward never looked better and it tickled all my tingly parts so I guess it has served its purpose!!

BTW - haven't forgotten about the Name contest - I just haven't decided. I need more entries to choose from so please, if you are reading this and haven't given me character names, please do so! I love a lot of the ones I have been given but I am still chewing on them...I think Austin is taken care of - I need jerky boy names now.

Everyone have a great 4th!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Name that Character Contest

Calling all creative minds! If you are interested in winning a $10 Amazon gift card all you have to do is find the perfect name for two of my characters!

1) I need a last name for Austin...I had Austin Rivers but it is bugging. I already have Macoy Parker and Cameryn Edwards...another cute whitey last name that looks like a first name seemed too much. But, if you think Austin Rivers is still the perfect name - you can vote on that as well.

2) I need a perfect jock-jerk name.

So, 2 gift cards up for grabs for whoever's name suggestions I use - spread the word to others who might want some free $$ and leave me your comments!!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Lesson From the Quackers

I have spent the weekend trying to digress everything I learned at WIFYR. I am excited to dive back into my book with renewed perspective and wisdom...or at least with a renewed false sense of security :)

Here is our awesome class. We had a great time and I am looking forward to getting to know them better and enjoying lots of writing misery and angst together! (If you look closely, you can even see two members of the Sacred Six!)

By the end of it, I was nominated as the person who would read every one's manuscripts for inappropriate content and sexual innuendos. I can't imagine how that happened...although I must say, ten years of listening to Bob and Tom and hanging with boys has finally paid off!

So, as I progress on my writing journey I have decided to take a lesson from our adopted nine little duckies... My Grandmother always used to say, "Be like a duck, calm on the surface and paddling like made underneath." When writing a book, I don't know how you act calm on the surface. I don't think it's possible. Or maybe, keeping your big fat mouth shut is how you appear calm on the surface.

I like the idea but I think there is more to it... Not only do you have to be paddling like mad underneath, churning up ideas, dialogue, similes, voice, perspective, plot, etc. But sometimes you just have to dive in and fly around aimlessly. Sometimes, you have to stick your head in the water and let your ass bob up an down above the surface. Sometimes, you just have to puff up your chest, flap your non-existent wings and say to the world, "That's right, I'm the sha-zizzle!"

Check 'em out!

Now, if I can just put down the books I am devouring from the conference and work on mine, that would be most helpful in my whole "I'm writing a book" charade!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Information Overload

WOW!  I am exhausted from the conference and I still have a day left!  SOOOO many great classes - I have learned so much it is overwhelming.  Today was the book signing and I am excited about 4 authors/books I picked up.  I haven't ready any of them yet but plan on reading all of them.  They all signed my book with encouraging words to keep writing - that seals the deal for me right?  I'm as good as gold?

Or not.

Anyone want to read these with me?

#1) The Dying Breath by Alane Ferguson - fabulously zany, fun lady with a killer name.  As you know, my oldest is an Alaine (but with an "i" obviously) so I was immediately drawn.  She writes forensic mysteries drawing from experiences and an obsession she developed when her best friend was murdered by a serial killer when she was young and he got away with it.  There are many books in the series but they are not sequencial.  This one is her newest.

#2) Fablehaven Book 1 by Brandon Mull - I have to see what all the hype is about.  Plus, he was a pretty funny guy.  I must know what the kids are reading these days.  You know me, can never be left out of a good fad.

#3) Once was Lost by Sara Zarr - She is a local author and her first book "Story of a Girl" was a National Book Award finalist.  She is more of Realistic YA genre but I have enjoyed her other work.  I like her so I wanted to support her book.

#4) The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson - I am most excited about this one.  She was our keynote speaker and is an award winning novelist.  I'll be honest, I hadn't heard of her before but when she walked into our private workshop the two instructors in there about peed their pants...so I assumed she was the bomb.  She was a wonderful, personable lady.  Even though this book isn't about her personal experiences, she wrote this book when her daughter had cancer and they were going through chemo.  I have heard it is exceptional.

Anyone read any of these yet?  Happy reading everyone!

Monday, June 14, 2010

WIFYR Conference...

This week is the writing conference for young readers. I am very nervous waiting for it to start. I will try to blog a bit this week about it. Tons of lectures, book signing, workshops, etc. Should be valuable and motivate me or I may throw in the towel at the end of the week...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Snowflake Method

First, I have been reading 13 other 10 page manuscripts from the other participants in the class and I am happy to report that (in my own opinion) I do not have the suckiest 10 pages of the group.  Whew! 

Now that I am home from vacation and work has settled down, I am diving back into my book...I'm all over it like stink on a monkey!  One of Bree's fantastic suggestions was to use "The Snowflake Method".  It is 10 steps to writing my novel in a structured format.  It's a recipe - how great is that?  I am excellent with recipes.  I can bake like nobody's business, just ask my fans - Thunder Thighs, Badonka-donk Butt and Glutony Gut.  Cooking on the other hand?  I am better off eating off the floor of a chicken coop. 

So, I completed Step 1 tonight.  How about that, I am 10% done!  The assignment was to write a New York Times Bestseller one-line blurb.  Here is mine, what do you think?  For those of you who read the first 10 pages - does it fit?

A tormented young girl battles against herself and the unknown to win her freedom.

Stay tuned for Step 2....

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Baby Steps

I took a few baby steps this week.  Thanks to the help of those who gave me feedback, I revised and submitted my 10 pages!    Yesterday I received the 10 pages submissions from 14 other people that I have to read and comment on in time for hte conference.  Wish me luck with that!

I also had my dinner with Bree Despain tonight.  It was wonderful.  Bree is a great lady and had lots of helpful tips and advice for me.  It was great to talk with her about The Dark Divine and her sequel The Lost Saint.  I felt bad that she stayed up until 4 AM getting her revisions submitted this morning and she still kept our appointment!  I'm glad she kept it though!!

I will be quiet for awhile - we are leaving on our Cruise on Sunday - yipee!!!!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Help Me! Help Me!!

Please help me from making an ass of myself!!  I have to turn 10 pages in for my writing conference on Saturday.  Is there anyone out there that would be willing to read them and provide some meaningful feedback about how it strikes you???  If so...please email me at caballou@energysolutions.com and I will send you the draft! 


Friday, April 9, 2010

Review of Impossible...

Remind me to FINISH a book before I start talking about it.  Lovely Bones sucked.  Impossible ended up sucking. 

What is it with the first 100 pages of a book being really good and then....nothing.  Complete waste because if the first 100 pages had been like the last 200 pages, you would have stopped a long time ago.  However, because you really enjoyed the beginning you suffer through the remainder of the book because you tell yourself that maybe, just maybe, they authoer has a plan and is going to wow you in the end.  But, without fail, I always end up disappointed.


Monday, April 5, 2010



....fitting into my pants.

....becoming independently weathy.

....living on a tropical island.

....writing a book.


....the name of the new book I am reading and loving so far by Nancy Werlin. I will let you know how it ends up but it is great so far!  Check it out.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

It's a Major Award!

Remember the classic cinema of Ralphy and his Red Rider B-B Gun?  His dad came home one night tickled as a farmer with a feather up his butt because he had won a major award.  Ah, yes.  The electric sex glowing in the window...

Well, I have won a major award myself.  You may recall the Fire Petal Auction I posted about recently.  Since I am struggling to pour my guts and livers onto paper in some organized fashion, I bid on a 2 hour lunch / chat / whatever session with the fabulous Bree Despain, author of The Dark Divine (which, by the by, if you haven't read you should be flogged publicly...or something a little less dramatic.)

Any who, not to compare Bree to Electric Sex Glowing in the window but you get my point, right?  I can't wait!  Feel bad for Bree (but not bad enough to not take advantage of her undivided attention!)

In other news...I did finish The Lovely Bones and it bored me to tears.  Maybe it was too deep and literary for me but I wish I could get those 10 hours of my life back!

Happy booking everyone!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Southeast Livin'

Are you all dying to know how my writing is coming?  So am I!  My writing during the day usually consists of 100's of emails a day that say "I am sorry you are experienceing issues with the new accounting system but due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.  Please contact someone who cares."

I am going on day WhoKnows of my American tour. 

I love the Southeast.  It is the only place in the world where I can buy University of South Carolina Gamcock T-shirts like this for souvenirs...

(That is totally me and my body in case you wondered...and yes, I really did buy shirts because I really am that immature.)

It is also the only place where I find myself stopping at a truck stop to get quarters for the laundro-mat while purchasing Power Ball Lottery tickets and a day old pork omlette biscuit from a lady named Marge because she chastises me relentlessly with her mantra "You gotta be In It to Win It."

I won three dollars and then spilled my Diet Pepsi all over the tickets and threw them in the trash.  I hope the maid can buy herself something nice.

When I got to my hotel last night at midnight there was a tour bus out front for the Notre Dame Rowing Team.  It didn't specify gender but my head went straight to Matt Damon / Dead Poets Society so I set my alarm early for breakfast!  Sadly they were gone by the time I got there.

In case you are wondering, Southern men are becoming much more progressive.  I went for a massage and pedi today to pass the time in this crazy town. 

Number of men giving pedi's and manicures = 4.  Number of women = 3.  Weird.  Not just Lady Gaga weird...more like Black Smoke Monster weird.

A gay man named Vincent was my massage therapist for the day.  I left him an extra large tip because the poor boy actually had to massage my bare butt cheeks, in all their cheesy glory.  (Plus, I feel bad for making "O" faces and moaning noises when he started working on my shoulders and neck. An extra fiver was the least I could do!)

When I was done, I waddled over to the Steak and Shake.  Hands down...best fast food...EVER!!!!!  I had a double with an extra large diet and a chocolate shake on the side.  On my way out the evil Girl Scout Troop forced me to buy Thin Mints.  Those girls are marketing geniuses!!  Want to sell cookies?  Hang out at the fatty-fatty-two-by-four temple.

I topped off a perfect day by watching Robert Pattinson for two solid hours in Remember Me.
I invited him over afterwards but told him it was a BYOB Party (Bring Your Own Bed).  I am expecting him at any moment.  How long should I wait?  If he isn't here by 3 AM should I assume he isn't coming? 

By the way, if you have seen Remember Me, what did you think? 

Tomorrow morning I am sleeping in and then I can't decide between 'taters, 'maters and grits at the Waffle House or biscuitt an gravy at Cracker Barrel.  Very tough choices.

What do you think my chances of finding Green Eggs for St. Patty's day are? 

Tomorrow is day light savings time so by my body clock it's yesterday.  I am off to bed!  (If I can sleep through the frog croaking in the swamp outside my window.)

Maybe tomorrow I will finish "Lovely Bones".  It started off with a bang and has gotten saggy in the middle...sort of reminds me of something....I'm just sayin'...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

What I'm Reading

I am currently reading "The Lovely Bones".  I know I said I wouldn't read anything but I had to break that vow.  So, I am making an effort to read things unrelated to my book genre. 

It's pretty good so far...

Anyone else read it?  What are your thoughts?

What are your Top 5 favorite books of all time?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Whale or Mermaid?

A poster featuring a young,thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist,they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful.

But I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Everything is Fine

I promised myself I wouldn't read anything until my book was finished because I didn't want any influences sneaking into my writing. 

But, on Sunday I could write no more.  I am so brain dead from work I just didn't have any juices left in me; creative, sugar-free, extra pulp or otherwise.  So, I cheated and read "Everything is Fine" by Ann Dee Ellis.

I loved it!  Very different and very powerful, or at least extra strength.  I can't tell too much without spoiling the story but I loved the angle of depression from the view point of the child.  I could completely relate and my heart ached for the child and the mom.

Anyone read it?  What did you think?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Cruel an Inhumane Punishment!

Air travel is one of the worst types of inhumane punishment. Let me count the ways

The Drop Off – Rolling out of the passenger seat of your car at 3 MPH as your husband chucks your suitcase after you through the sun roof.

The Kiosk – Waiting in line to be given the option of checking your itinerary and printing your boarding pass using any of five methods you can’t seem to remember.

ID Check – Holding your breathe and waiting for the crabby man behind the counter to tell you that you are on the FBI’s most wanted list and will not be allowed to travel and letting it out with relief when he lets you pass.

Security – The pressure of seeing how fast you can rip off your knife-tipped shoes, studded belt, jacket and jewelry and then pull out all your personal bomb making liquids disguised in your toiletry bottles, take out your secret spy intelligence smuggling laptop and race through the radar arch just to be patted down by a woman named Helen looking for coke in your small intestine and returning to gather your belongings before they are run over by the next persons stuff.

Loading – Waiting for your special, privileged “Zone” to be called so you can muscle your way past the women and children to get a spot for your own oversized carry-on.

The Middle Seat – Trapped. The sensation of having to pee is prevalent from the moment you sit down until you are off the plane.

The Window Seat – Even more trapped and an even more excessive peeing sensation coupled with a gas bubble.

The Smoker – Sitting next to someone who just inhaled a chimney to prepare for his 4 hours of withdrawal and having your clothes smell like him for the rest of the day. You have to turn on your overhead air even though you are freezing just to get some oxygen.

Infant in Arms – Do I really need to say anything about this one?

The Bathroom – Anyone who ever bragged about the mile high club is a damn liar.

The Beverage Service – A nasty cookie and a shot of pop. I want to barf on the man next to me and eat his young by the time we land. I think I’m allergic to it. What’s worse is the person next to you who packs their own homemade “snack” of nasty stinky cheese and warm bologna.

The Announcements – Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! You aren’t funny, no one cares about the winds out of the north and if you thank me one more time for flying with you I am going to wrap that cord around your neck and choke you.

The Landing – Cell phones out everyone, on the count of three. “We just landed” “We just landed” “Hey, Bob, we just landed.” Everyone, in case you haven’t noticed you are still trapped in an enclosed space with 250 tired and irritable people. Save it for the terminal.

The Hurry Up and Wait – As soon as the seat belt light goes off let’s jump into the aisle and grab all of our belongings and make everyone claustrophobic for 20 minutes while we wait for the door to open.

The Pick Up – You can’t get out front and into the car fast enough. Your ears are still ringing from the noise of the plane and it takes about five miles before your heart rate has returned to normal.

I feel so violated when the day is done and I want to bleach myself inside and out.

Maybe it’s just me?

I like to pass the time by playing LOST.

I look around the plane and try to pick out Sawyer, Jack, Siyed, John Locke, Hurley the Korean guy. I’m Kate of course, I’m always Kate. Anyone who might be competition dies in the crash. It’s very sad.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Manllow, Sawyer Brown, Fire Petal

I know Christmas has just passed and my birthday isn't until October but you would be my very best friend in the world if you bought me an Edward and Jacob Manllow.


What in the world has she done to Jacob???  You horrible Asian-version Bella!  Get your hands off Edward Manllow and get your stinky, groady feet away from Jacob's face!!

Moving on...I am in Tennesse again this week.  I was having dinner with a collegue at a local Mexican restaurant. 

I look over a few tables down and see Sawyer!!  OMG, It's Sawyer...from LOST!  Why is he wearing an apron and waiting on tables?  Am I the only one who see's this? 

Wait!  EEEEK!  He is coming this way!  He is coming up to our table..he is going to say something...I think I'm going to faint!!

"Guud e'vn, folks, whuuut ccnn I git fer ya'll?"

Yikes.  The voice is drawlly and slightly retarded.  This can't be my Sawyer.  It sure looks like him but this must be some country version, like the 90's Sawyer Brown band perhaps?

Close mouth....swoon.

Open mouth....cringe.

"Excuse me, sir?  Could you just stand there and shut up?  I will point to what I want.  Thanks!"

Anyway, in the interest of staying with the book club theme here, Michelle Witte is trying to raise money to open Fire Petal Books in Centerville, UT.  Fire Petal Books is dedicated to improving literacy and writing skills for kids and teens. In addition to selling quality children’s and young adult books, the store will play host to a variety of groups, programs, and activities.

They are having an auction to raise money; books, accessories, authors are donating time to edit manuscripts, etc. 

So click here to check it out!  Fire Petal Books Auction

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Step 1

This is the first post of the rest of....well....this blog.

I signed up for a writing seminar in June and the group offering the seminar was kind enough to send an email inviting everyone to join some sort of e-group. 

Suddenly I am receiving emails as follows...

"Dah-ling, when can we get together and exchange chapters?  I'm on my third book, what about you?"

"I have my second in submittal and I have started my fourth, you?"

"I'd just love it if we could exchange blog addee's"

"I'm very interested in writing a complex character, I do hope Professor Dumbledore plans on covering that topic."

And on, and on...

So I am freaked out.  Want to know how my little book is coming along?  Um...it's literally vomit in the form of 66 pages of Microsoft Word. 

I wanted to write a book just to see if I could.  I like a challenge.  I like accomplishing things.  I like taking on the impossible and kicking it's trash. 

But, I work an average of 55 hours a week, 45 on a good week and about 70-80 the other 35 weeks of the year.  I travel a lot.  I have two children and a husband who makes it all possible.  But, even with my SuperMan, there isn't a lot left of me to go around. (Figuratively speaking...literally speaking there is plenty.  Too much, even.)

I'm an accountant for hell's sake's.  Not a story writer.  Not a plot thickener.  And don't even get me started on dialogue!

Here is what I have accomplished...

Meet Cameryn Edwards

Her brother Dayne (I know...weird how he looks like Zac Efron, right?  You are seeing things.)

His friend Austin Rivers...

And...drum roll please...

The Leading Man, Mr. Macoy Parker...

Now, I can't say I have gotten much writing done but I have spent a lot of time, um, researching and memorizing said male characters so I can describe them adequately. It's all about accuracy, I am nothing if not thorough!

Any how, click on the link at the side to follow my blog and join my little book club where we will talk about none other than....books!  The writers of them, the readers of them and everything in between!