Listen to the Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.
Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.

Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein

Friday, June 1, 2012

That X-Chromosome Will Getcha

Well, we survived (I use that term loosely) another birthday at our house. Thing 1 turned 10 in human years—17 in girl years.

Someone help me understand when, exactly, I lost control as a parent…

Could it have been when I agreed to let her make her own birthday cake and she decided it needed to be frosted OUT of the pan while it was still hot so she dumped it on the counter and it crumbled into a thousand pieces all over my kitchen and floor?

Could it have been when I told her she could invite a few friends over for cake and ice cream and it turned into a free-for-all, you know, since she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings?

Could it have been when all her friends helped her decide the party should start right after school instead of a reasonable hour when I could be home from work and so therefore I had to take a half day off work?

Could it have been when I told her we could have pizza for dinner but her friends decided they were hungry NOW so I was sent off to Little Caesars with a list of special requests?

Could it have been when her grandpa called to wish her a happy birthday and all of her friends passed the phone around the room and acted like ninnies?

Could it have been when I made the mistake of letting her pick out some clothes for her birthday and she decided she needed to wear all of them at once to show off to her friends?

Could it have been when the neon pink lipstick made its first appearance?

Could it have been when we decided having a baby sounded like fun and that bloody X-chromosome fought its way to the front of the line?

Yeah. I think that was where it all went awry.

Se la vi! We are stuck with her. Good thing we love her so much!

On the writing front, I have about 72 hours till my pages are due for the conference. I will be locked in my room, showerless and braless donning PJs while I complete my revisions. Wish me luck!

No comments:

Post a Comment