Listen to the Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.
Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.

Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein

Monday, July 19, 2010

Manic Monday

I had a power weekend.

Any idea what that is? Well, let me tell you. It is sort of like a power nap - you know, a quick 20 minutes to help you feel refreshed and ready to finish the day?

I worked Saturday from 7 AM to 9 PM and Sunday until 7 PM. At 7 PM, I poured myself an ice cold Diet Pepsi and planted myself in my lawn chair in the warm summer air, watched our ducks and worked on my book.

It was a fabulous 3 hours. That was my power weekend.

And now I am back at work...

Is it bad I had to duck tape the hem of my dress pants this morning??? Could this be systematic of a much larger problem?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Since WHEN is Edward a redhead??

I just finished The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. It was mind numbing. It was the first time I almost didn't finish a book. What I want to know is when slightly brownish, blondish, hints of red highlights on my Eddie became enough to call him a REDHEAD?!?!?! Has Stephanie been drinking? After that book I think I need to be drinking just to forget it!

Plus, I just walked past my trumpet playing neighbors house and heard him say to his friend, "Dude, I gotta take a dump." And then he turned around and saw me! HA! Serves you right for playing your trumpet at all hours, you little skin flute!

My day couldn't get any better. Bring on Ender's Game to round it all out!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Momma Said

My Momma never said, "Life is Like a Box of Chocolates." What she did say was this...

"You have to make good things happen for yourself! You make it happen."

That was the only bit of parenting advice I remember and it changed my life. I have lived that way for 12 years...until most recently.

Thank you to my husband for reminding me of that when I had started to forget!

Don't sit around wishing because at the end of the day all you will all end up with is what? A handful of poo. Because Grandpa John L. used to say, "You can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first!"

Today I make things happen.

I am tired of having handfuls of poo at the end of the day, especially since I am running out of places to shove it! It's really starting to smell and the neighbors are getting suspicious!

Love you all, Happy Monday!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Life is Funny...

Life is funny. It isn't as much "har, har" funny as it is "Hey, that wasn't in the brochure" kind of funny.

Marriage doesn't turn out to be a endless nights of passion and days filled with freedom away from your parents tyrannical rule.

An Apartment isn't like Ken and Barbie's dream house.

A Mortgage is just a prison disguised as legal sized papers in a pretty folder with gold embossed letters on the front.

Food doesn't make itself.

Nothing is self cleaning...including the oven, which is the biggest marketing scam since Dexatrim.

Children are not like real life Cabbage Patch Dolls that move and speak according to your will.

Parenting is not a throw down challenge to prove you can do it better than all the parents before you that you have criticized, including your own.

A real job is not something you jump gladly out of bed at 6 AM every day for...in fact the longer you do it, the better a McDonald's fry cook looks to you.

Lessons still suck to learn to matter how old you get. And tears still fall.

The bully's on the playground never go away, they just disguise themselves better.

You never discover what it is you want to be when you grow up...because one day you realize you grew up and never decided. Somehow your life just happened and you still feel like you are seventeen waiting for it to start.


I excitedly took a quiz I was emailed today on how to Maximize your Strengths: Personal Growth and Development.

Question #1: What do you like to talk about without stopping?

Me: Hmmm. I'm not sure. That is a tough one. Let's see what the explanation says:

Chances are, the things that interest you most get you talking on and on. If what you talk about without stopping are the complaints you have or the things about other people that bother you, then nothing here will help you. A negative attitude will sabotage any success you may seek, and the responsibility for that is yours.

And now I am going back to bed.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

And the Winner Is....

Melanie wins for Austin Fisher.

Teri wins for Kade Akers.

Email me your email address at camilleballou@comcast.net so I can email the gift cards to you.

Thanks everyone for helping out. Sorry it took me so long to decide...what can I say, I'm a woman and I am wishy-washy!

Hope everyone had a great 4th.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

Eclipse Run-Down

It has been 36 hours since the much anticipated Eclipse Premier. Before I start this post, please know I am a lover - not a hater. You all know that, I am a fan, a dedicated fan. I have suffered through uncomfortable monkey references, tacky glitter, laughable special effects and horribly coiffed hair. I have evolved to find Robert Pattinson hot, and not at all feminine with a face that is not at all flat like the bottom of my foot. I have crossed a moral boundary to lust after a child who was once the super-hero Shark Boy. I have looked past everything that is wrong with Kristen Stewart on every level. I have a 1,000 piece puzzle glued together under my bed, next to a poster that I have no use for but had to have. I named my car Eddie for hell's sakes. So...it is with the utmost love I give my opinion of Eclipse...

The title of the movie should be changed to "I HATE BELLA SWAN!!" I wanted her to die, die, die. I wanted to stand up and shout to the world, "You don't deserve either one of them you horrible, horrible, horrible little girl."

All of us that have read the books and fallen in love with either Edward or Jacob, or both. And I dare say there wasn't one of us who joined "Team Bella" and fell in love with her character. If they had consulted me on the screen play it would have gone something like this...

Bella is fickle and can't decide between two perfect and gorgeous men. The two men have a moment of clarity as they stare each other down, they sense a connection with each other and use their mind reading super powers to communicate. What are we doing, they ask? Are we really fighting over her? This is almost embarassing, we could do SO much better...I mean, look at us, right? So, they form a plan while Bella watches them cluelessly with a stupid expression on her face...

When Riley and Victoria come for Bella and Edward pretends to protect her, he secretly tells them that they can have her as long as they promise to make it look like he put up a good fight.
Riley and Victoria take Bella and suck the so-called life out of her and rip her to pieces. It's very sad. Poor Jasper is distraught and decides to finally come out of the closet...He proclaims to the world that we won't let Alice dress him anymore - not only is a Bob-Cut out of style, the cheap wavy perm is SO Kelly McGillis-1980-Top Gun that he is about to rip his own head off. A huge fight errupts among the Cullen'sCarlisle tells the other Cullens in his soft spoken tone to settle down and love all creatures, not matter what their sexual orientation may be - to remember who they are... Emmett says, "To hell with that, I am too much of a man for that. And, come to think of it, I'm with Edward and Jacob, I'm too much of a man to be with an ice cold beyotch like Rosalie, too! I'm outta here."(ohhhhhh yeahhhh...meet Macoy Parker from my book everyone!) Devastated, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme run to Alaska to be with the Denali clan. Edward, Jacob and Emmett stay behind in the Cullen mansion. The three of them dream of having a woman in their lives they can share - a middle-aged, chubby, wrinkly, homely, accountant that they can spoil, dote on, provide for and love passionately. She shows up and makes all their wildest dreams come true...Alice adopts Seth Clearwater and rescues him from the Quilleute tribe (because let's face it, he is the cutest little thing I've ever seen)
And they all lived happily ever after!

The End.

What do you think? It would have been much better than suffering through 2 hours of unemotional acting from Bella trying to have her beef-cake and eat it too. But, her passionate speech at the end made everything fall into place and made it all okay...or not! The speech made me even more angry with her - if that was even possible. "Edward...oh, Edward...I want to be a Vampire because I suck as a human being...I guess I sort of love you too...and I sort of love Jacob but all he can do is lick me like a dog - at least you are a means to an end!"

Was it just me? What did everyone else think? I think the general status is that if you loved the 1st one - you will like this one. But if New Moon blew you away...you might be disappointed with this one. However, Edward never looked better and it tickled all my tingly parts so I guess it has served its purpose!!

BTW - haven't forgotten about the Name contest - I just haven't decided. I need more entries to choose from so please, if you are reading this and haven't given me character names, please do so! I love a lot of the ones I have been given but I am still chewing on them...I think Austin is taken care of - I need jerky boy names now.

Everyone have a great 4th!