Listen to the Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.
Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.

Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Everything is Fine

I promised myself I wouldn't read anything until my book was finished because I didn't want any influences sneaking into my writing. 

But, on Sunday I could write no more.  I am so brain dead from work I just didn't have any juices left in me; creative, sugar-free, extra pulp or otherwise.  So, I cheated and read "Everything is Fine" by Ann Dee Ellis.

I loved it!  Very different and very powerful, or at least extra strength.  I can't tell too much without spoiling the story but I loved the angle of depression from the view point of the child.  I could completely relate and my heart ached for the child and the mom.

Anyone read it?  What did you think?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Cruel an Inhumane Punishment!

Air travel is one of the worst types of inhumane punishment. Let me count the ways

The Drop Off – Rolling out of the passenger seat of your car at 3 MPH as your husband chucks your suitcase after you through the sun roof.

The Kiosk – Waiting in line to be given the option of checking your itinerary and printing your boarding pass using any of five methods you can’t seem to remember.

ID Check – Holding your breathe and waiting for the crabby man behind the counter to tell you that you are on the FBI’s most wanted list and will not be allowed to travel and letting it out with relief when he lets you pass.

Security – The pressure of seeing how fast you can rip off your knife-tipped shoes, studded belt, jacket and jewelry and then pull out all your personal bomb making liquids disguised in your toiletry bottles, take out your secret spy intelligence smuggling laptop and race through the radar arch just to be patted down by a woman named Helen looking for coke in your small intestine and returning to gather your belongings before they are run over by the next persons stuff.

Loading – Waiting for your special, privileged “Zone” to be called so you can muscle your way past the women and children to get a spot for your own oversized carry-on.

The Middle Seat – Trapped. The sensation of having to pee is prevalent from the moment you sit down until you are off the plane.

The Window Seat – Even more trapped and an even more excessive peeing sensation coupled with a gas bubble.

The Smoker – Sitting next to someone who just inhaled a chimney to prepare for his 4 hours of withdrawal and having your clothes smell like him for the rest of the day. You have to turn on your overhead air even though you are freezing just to get some oxygen.

Infant in Arms – Do I really need to say anything about this one?

The Bathroom – Anyone who ever bragged about the mile high club is a damn liar.

The Beverage Service – A nasty cookie and a shot of pop. I want to barf on the man next to me and eat his young by the time we land. I think I’m allergic to it. What’s worse is the person next to you who packs their own homemade “snack” of nasty stinky cheese and warm bologna.

The Announcements – Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! You aren’t funny, no one cares about the winds out of the north and if you thank me one more time for flying with you I am going to wrap that cord around your neck and choke you.

The Landing – Cell phones out everyone, on the count of three. “We just landed” “We just landed” “Hey, Bob, we just landed.” Everyone, in case you haven’t noticed you are still trapped in an enclosed space with 250 tired and irritable people. Save it for the terminal.

The Hurry Up and Wait – As soon as the seat belt light goes off let’s jump into the aisle and grab all of our belongings and make everyone claustrophobic for 20 minutes while we wait for the door to open.

The Pick Up – You can’t get out front and into the car fast enough. Your ears are still ringing from the noise of the plane and it takes about five miles before your heart rate has returned to normal.

I feel so violated when the day is done and I want to bleach myself inside and out.

Maybe it’s just me?

I like to pass the time by playing LOST.

I look around the plane and try to pick out Sawyer, Jack, Siyed, John Locke, Hurley the Korean guy. I’m Kate of course, I’m always Kate. Anyone who might be competition dies in the crash. It’s very sad.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Manllow, Sawyer Brown, Fire Petal

I know Christmas has just passed and my birthday isn't until October but you would be my very best friend in the world if you bought me an Edward and Jacob Manllow.


What in the world has she done to Jacob???  You horrible Asian-version Bella!  Get your hands off Edward Manllow and get your stinky, groady feet away from Jacob's face!!

Moving on...I am in Tennesse again this week.  I was having dinner with a collegue at a local Mexican restaurant. 

I look over a few tables down and see Sawyer!!  OMG, It's Sawyer...from LOST!  Why is he wearing an apron and waiting on tables?  Am I the only one who see's this? 

Wait!  EEEEK!  He is coming this way!  He is coming up to our table..he is going to say something...I think I'm going to faint!!

"Guud e'vn, folks, whuuut ccnn I git fer ya'll?"

Yikes.  The voice is drawlly and slightly retarded.  This can't be my Sawyer.  It sure looks like him but this must be some country version, like the 90's Sawyer Brown band perhaps?

Close mouth....swoon.

Open mouth....cringe.

"Excuse me, sir?  Could you just stand there and shut up?  I will point to what I want.  Thanks!"

Anyway, in the interest of staying with the book club theme here, Michelle Witte is trying to raise money to open Fire Petal Books in Centerville, UT.  Fire Petal Books is dedicated to improving literacy and writing skills for kids and teens. In addition to selling quality children’s and young adult books, the store will play host to a variety of groups, programs, and activities.

They are having an auction to raise money; books, accessories, authors are donating time to edit manuscripts, etc. 

So click here to check it out!  Fire Petal Books Auction

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Step 1

This is the first post of the rest of....well....this blog.

I signed up for a writing seminar in June and the group offering the seminar was kind enough to send an email inviting everyone to join some sort of e-group. 

Suddenly I am receiving emails as follows...

"Dah-ling, when can we get together and exchange chapters?  I'm on my third book, what about you?"

"I have my second in submittal and I have started my fourth, you?"

"I'd just love it if we could exchange blog addee's"

"I'm very interested in writing a complex character, I do hope Professor Dumbledore plans on covering that topic."

And on, and on...

So I am freaked out.  Want to know how my little book is coming along?  Um...it's literally vomit in the form of 66 pages of Microsoft Word. 

I wanted to write a book just to see if I could.  I like a challenge.  I like accomplishing things.  I like taking on the impossible and kicking it's trash. 

But, I work an average of 55 hours a week, 45 on a good week and about 70-80 the other 35 weeks of the year.  I travel a lot.  I have two children and a husband who makes it all possible.  But, even with my SuperMan, there isn't a lot left of me to go around. (Figuratively speaking...literally speaking there is plenty.  Too much, even.)

I'm an accountant for hell's sake's.  Not a story writer.  Not a plot thickener.  And don't even get me started on dialogue!

Here is what I have accomplished...

Meet Cameryn Edwards

Her brother Dayne (I know...weird how he looks like Zac Efron, right?  You are seeing things.)

His friend Austin Rivers...

And...drum roll please...

The Leading Man, Mr. Macoy Parker...

Now, I can't say I have gotten much writing done but I have spent a lot of time, um, researching and memorizing said male characters so I can describe them adequately. It's all about accuracy, I am nothing if not thorough!

Any how, click on the link at the side to follow my blog and join my little book club where we will talk about none other than....books!  The writers of them, the readers of them and everything in between!